Adam and Eve
A new poem by Robert ‘Smokey’ Miles.
The first man looked at the rib girl Who was ripped right from his chest He said ‘You look cute in your birthday suit And I really do dig your breasts.’ Then he palindromed ‘Madam I'm Adam!’ She said, ‘I'm Eve, please don't leave!’ And soon they got up and at 'em And reproduced like you wouldn't believe.
Next thing you know a talking snake Comes slithering down a tree He says, ‘Listen to me honey, this may sound funny This fruit'll teach ya 'bout the birds and the bees!’ So she ate of it and kinda liked the flavor Though it tasted just a little bit tart He took a bite, said ‘Mmmm, I like!’ And it made both of them real smart .
But the old God was getting angry ‘I told you not to chew on that stuff! You'll have to find a finer fashion designer 'Cause that nudity ain't gonna be enough.’ So, they cut down some nice fig leaves Eve said, ‘Ya live and ya loin!’ But Adam was pissed 'cause he was missing his Miss walking 'round with an uncovered groin.
‘What am I gonna do about you?’ Asked Adam when they made pillow talk? ‘You'd better behave,’ said Eve, ‘or I'll say 'me too' And you'll end up taking the perp walk!’ So, Adam tried to cool it And behave just like a mensch But he thought his gig was to be a chauvinist pig So, Eve made him sit on the bench.
As punishment for his wayward ways Adam was made to suffer And spend eternity in a haze And Eve had it even rougher She screamed and howled when she gave birth And was endowed with lots of feelings And while Adam roamed freely upon the earth Poor Eve often hit the glass ceiling.
Their descendants came, their descendants went They made rockets and landed on the moon They wrote books, some were crooks, some paid rent And some sang pleasing tunes. But Adam and Eve were simple folk 'Til from that apple they did munch. And God must still be writing jokes 'Cause humanity's way out to lunch.
They push, they control, they scorch the globe They kill animals and eat 'em So many of them are some kind of phobe They take fellow humans, slay 'em and beat 'em. It's sad how they're turning that Garden From a paradise to a trash bin Without so much as an ‘I beg your pardon’ Or admitting that that's some kind of sin.
Well, Adam and Eve had it pretty good they had everything they did require They lived in a real nice neighbourhood Until they got overcome by desire. But looking back, how could they change Any aspect of their life? Maybe it was all pre-arranged A little peace, a little strife?
If you think about it, Perhaps these two were really Neanderthals Kind of proto-humans Who made pictures on cave walls A couple of primate savages With grudges and pet peeves Chomping on raw meat and cabbages Our ancestors, Adam and Eve.
